Why this? I have been wanting to blog since like forever. One fine day/night I realized this guy I liked was taking me for a ride, and he had been doing this for close to 6 years now - on & off! This day I realized what a loser I was being crying incessantly for myself, blaming him. I blogged and from that day I have not shed a tear for him. Yup, this description came in much later. So here's to venting your anger in a positive, productive way...
Black.
Blank.
No questions. I don't want an explanation. Do I hate myself? Why did I? I knew all along that it was nothing to you. I was just there to wipe your tears and help you feel better. Then why do I ache now for all of this? I love myself so much, then why did I let this go on? I have this dull ache in the pits of my stomach which I know has no cure, it'll just fade with time. The scars will remain in my mind to darken and taunt me on days when nothing seems right. I am alone, I despair with each passing day. I wander. I search with my eyes in the corner of a dark black room. I know not what I want. I dare not want what I want. I am scared to speak. Would you hate me more than you already do. I know I love you not. But I dint deserve what happened too. I seek thee love. I seek thee words. I seek thee assurance that everything's fine though I know you close your eyes when you say this. Will tomorrow be better? Will I learn better? Euphemism sounds like such a glamorous word. That is what it is. Will the pricks of a thousand needles distract me enough to forget what has happened for a while? You'll never hurt the way I do. That's coz you never gave the way I did.
Black.
Blank.
No questions. I don't want an explanation. Do I hate myself? Why did I? I knew all along that it was nothing to you. I was just there to wipe your tears and help you feel better. Then why do I ache now for all of this? I love myself so much, then why did I let this go on? I have this dull ache in the pits of my stomach which I know has no cure, it'll just fade with time. The scars will remain in my mind to darken and taunt me on days when nothing seems right. I am alone, I despair with each passing day. I wander. I search with my eyes in the corner of a dark black room. I know not what I want. I dare not want what I want. I am scared to speak. Would you hate me more than you already do. I know I love you not. But I dint deserve what happened too. I seek thee love. I seek thee words. I seek thee assurance that everything's fine though I know you close your eyes when you say this. Will tomorrow be better? Will I learn better? Euphemism sounds like such a glamorous word. That is what it is. Will the pricks of a thousand needles distract me enough to forget what has happened for a while? You'll never hurt the way I do. That's coz you never gave the way I did.
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